Rizanapped!
by Gbaby808
Summary: Riza gets, well, Rizanapped! Inspired on Fullmetal Alchemist, vol. 2 The Abducted Alchemist!


Riza-napped!

The day had started off badly. Riza was driving to work that morning, running half an hour late. She had rushed out of her house to get to work. Her hair was undone, her uniform coat was on the seat next to her and her holster wasn't on either. Riza was not in a good mood. To go with the bad mood, it was raining too. Black Hayate whined as his owner drove silently, scowling. "Roy is probably _really_ mad right now." thought Riza. At headquarters, Roy wasn't exactly in a good mood either.

"I am _really_ mad right now! Do you really think I want to deal with a little problem like maintenance?!" cursed Roy.

"No sir." replied a solider.

"Well, then! LEAVE!" roared Roy. The man left without a word. "Dammit! Does anyone know where the hell Lt. Hawkeye is?!"

"Sorry chief, but we don't have the slightest clue." replied Havoc.

"This is not my day! I get a report that the terrorists have escaped from prison, I have a mountain of paperwork to do, the maintenance staff is complaining like crazy, people are going berserk about the terrorists, my superiors at central are sending more of those damn encouragement letters, and to top it all off, Lt. Hawkeye is late!" growled Roy.

"C'mon chief. Don't get rabid like that. Just take a minute to calm down. Have some coffee or something. I'm sure that Riza is running a _little_ late, that's all." said Havoc, trying to calm his friend and superior down.

"Thanks, Jean." said Roy, smiling.

"No problem, Roy. I know how to handle you in your stressed out mode. Remember in high school? We had the SATs coming up, and you went insane. Riza and I had to tie you to a chair to calm you down." said Havoc, recalling the hysterical scene.

"Yeah….. I'm still trying to forget that little incident." said Roy. "And I've never gotten a chance to ask, but why did you guys tie me up with a jump rope?"

"That was only thing we could find on short notice." said Havoc. Roy laughed. "We kind of _borrowed_ it from the gym teacher."

Back on the road, Riza was still driving, when all of a sudden, a large explosion tossed her car backwards. The car luckily landed back on it's wheels.

"Dammit! What the hell is going on?" cursed Riza. She wiped her hair off of her face. She could feel a stream of blood trickle down the side of her face. She also had the worst headache of her life. Then, she heard voices outside. She couldn't see their faces though, because of the rain. Her door suddenly yanked open. A huge man with an evil grin looked at her. Then she blacked out.

"Sir! There's been an explosion at the corner of East and Main. It's possibly the work of the escaped terrorists. The car found at the crime scene is reported to have the same license plate number as Lt. Hawkeye's car!" said Furey, obviously worried like hell.

"Riza." gasped Roy. He and Havoc both shared worried glances. Roy, and his subordinates all left for the crime scene.

Roy stood in front of the banged up car. He looked inside through the open driver side door. Suddenly, Black Hayate peeked up from his hiding space and barked happily at Roy.

"Black Hayate! Are you okay boy?" asked Roy. Black Hayate barked his answer, then jumped out of the car and sat next to Roy. He eyed the holster on the passenger seat. "Oh boy. She doesn't have her guns." It's not that Roy was worried about her being defenseless. She was far from that. He just knew that whoever abducted her was going to have hell dealing with her. Getting shot was a much less _painful_ experience. Roy grabbed her holster and coat and walked toward Breda. "Let's get back to HQ and figure this out."

"Hey, sir. What's that?" said Breda, pointing to a piece of paper on the dashboard. Roy picked it up and read it. The others gathered around him, looking at the note.

_Mustang, we have one of your military rats. You know, the blonde. If you want her back, come find us. If you can. We'll give till noon tomorrow. If not, the she's history. Have fun._

"Dammit!" cursed Roy.

Back at HQ, Roy was madder than ever.

"Furey! Falman! Breda! See if you can find any clues on where the terrorists could be!" barked Roy.

"Yes sir!" replied the men.

"Hey chief! What do you need me to do?" asked Havoc.

"Help me think!" groaned Roy, slumping down in his chair.

"Uh… Sure?" said Havoc. "What do you need help thinking about?"

"Where would escaped terrorists go to hide?" asked Roy. "Probably some place abandoned and far-off."

"Maybe an old warehouse or hangar or factory or something." suggested Havoc.

"Yes! And it would of course be somewhere here in East City."

"So maybe we should try and figure out all of the abandoned buildings in East City and start from there!"

"Brilliant Jean! I'll get right on it!" exclaimed Roy.

"Thank you sir! Do you need me to do anything else?"

"Yes! I need you to take a nap!"

"A… Nap?" asked Havoc, confused.

"Yes, a nap!"

"But, what for?"

I want you to be able to wake me up if I fall asleep while doing research. I cant waste time sleeping, so your mission is to take a nap and be ready to stay up all night."

"Yes sir!"

"Oh. My head. Where am I?" Riza looked around the dark room. She was tied to a chair. "Hello! Anyone there! Anybody? Somebody?"

"Great! Malibu Barbie is awake!" said a voice.

"Guess we should go check on her. She _is_ our guest." said another.

"Malibu Barbie?" said Riza under her breath. "I've never been compared to a plastic, anorexic, stereotypical supermodel before…"

"Hi Barbie!" said one of the guys. Riza recognized him immediately. It was Gael. The guy who tried to smash her and Roy the last time with a crate. "Aw c'mon! You ruined it!"

"What? Were you expecting me to say 'hi Ken!' Is that it?" growled Riza.

"Yeah! You know that song too?"

"Oh my God…" sighed Riza. "What a moron."

"Let me guess. You are wondering why you're here?" asked the other man. It was Colt, the terrorist boss with a grudge against the military.

"Uh. No. Not really." said Riza flatly.

"Listen here, Barbie girl! We gave your pals in the military till noon tomorrow to save your life! Would you like me to end it _now_?!" bellowed Colt.

"Why do you guys keep calling me Barbie? Do I look like a Barbie doll to you?"

"Yes!" said Gael. Colt and Riza looked at him. "What? You do."

"Well, you better behave, or we'll hurt you." said Colt.

"Ooh. I'm shaking in my military standard boots." said Riza, sarcastically. Colt angrily walked out of the room.

"Hey Colt! Can I stay and play with Barbie?" asked Gael.

"Whatever."

"Yay!" said Gael.

"Oh joy…" said Riza.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…" Roy was sleeping at his desk.

"This has been the 37th time." grumbled Havoc. Then he pinched Roy on the arm as hard as he could.

"YOUCH!" whined Roy. "I fell asleep again?"

"For the 37th time, yes."

"That's it! I've got to figure out some way to stay awake." Roy sat there thinking, then he got an idea. He dug into one of his drawers. He pulled out a bag of kompeito. (Those little colorful Japanese spiky rock candy things) "KOMPEITO!"

"Uh. Huh. I don't get it. No wait, your not planning on… Oh no. You are."

"Don't worry. It's not going to do any harm."

"Who knows…." Havoc looked at Roy as he emptied the bag (about 2 Ziploc sandwich bag worth) into his mouth, one maximum mouthful at a time. (That's a lot of sugar!)

"Wow! I feel a sugar rush coming on!" suddenly, Roy had an enormous amount of energy. "Wow!! I've never had this much energy before! I feel like I could just keep going and going and going! Hey, do I sound like an Energizer commercial to you?! Hey Jean, did you…." Roy was hyped up on all of the sugar he ate.

"Three, two, one." counted Havoc. At one, Roy fell asleep in his chair. "Well, that didn't last very long." As Roy slept, Havoc did some research, trying to compensate the time that Roy was spending asleep. Every second counted. Then, Havoc figured out where the terrorists were hiding.

Later that evening, Havoc hit the jackpot.

"Eureka! Roy! Wake up!" Havoc shook his arm. "Wake up! ROY!" Havoc slapped him on the arm and Roy woke up instantly.

"Owww… Do you _have_ to hit me so hard?" asked Roy, rubbing his arm.

"Well yeah. You were sleeping like a rock."

"I was having a nice dream to by the way, so thank you for ruining it."

"Well, I have some good news."

"If you tell me that you saved a ton of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico, I swear, I will burn you into charcoal."

"No. The good news is that I know where the terrorists are hiding."

"I love you Havoc!"

"Ew, sir. I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way."

"You know what I mean!"

"Good morning sir. I have your re…" Ed walked into the office where Havoc was passed out on the couch. Roy was sitting in his chair, sleepily looking at Ed.

"Uh, I'm guessing that you two pulled an all night cram session." said Al. "And by the way, where's Lt. Hawkeye?"

"Yeah. Usually, she's the one who always escorts us to you." added Ed.

"She was kidnapped by the escaped terrorists. We're going to get her as soon as Havoc wakes up." said Roy, sleepily.

"Escaped terrorists? Wait, you don't mean the same guys who abducted me, do you?" asked Ed.

"Yup. Those guys."

"They kidnapped Lt. Hawkeye?" Al asked, surprised. Roy nodded.

"Colonel. Can I accompany you to their hideout?" asked Ed.

"Why?"

"They kidnapped me before, and now the lieutenant. Now, it's personal."

"Welcome to the team." Suddenly, Havoc woke up.

"Wow. What a great nap!" Roy and Ed just shook their heads and smiled.

It turned out that the terrorists were hiding in an abandoned factory in the outskirts of town. Roy, Ed, Al, Havoc and Breda were outside the factory, ready to save their fellow soldier. Or not.

"Man, I can't wait to kick their asses." sighed Ed.

"The door's locked." said Breda, jiggling the clunky doorknob to the thick metal door.

"I don't care." growled Roy, angrily. He wasn't going to let a stupid door get in his way. He kicked the huge metal door down, as if it were made of Styrofoam. "Where are those bastards?!"

"My, someone is fired up, isn't he?" said Havoc jokingly. Roy stormed into the building. Ed, Al, Havoc & Breada followed.

Meanwhile, Riza was being _entertained_ by Gael.

"Hmm, say. Could you untie me? My arms are getting kind of sore." asked Riza, sweetly.

"I shouldn't. Colt told me that you have to stay tied up." replied the big dumb lug.

"Aw. Come on. I won't do any harm."

"Well, okay." Gael untied Riza. She smirked and dashed past him, and towards the door. "Hey! I thought you weren't gonna run!"

"I lied!" replied Riza, as she ran out the door.

She Ran down a short hallway, but was blocked by two men. Two men with two guns. Each. They fired, but she knew guns better than anyone else. She dodged them, narrowly. She jumped up and kicked both guys in the faces, anime style. She opened the door at the end of the hall, but was pissed to see that it was just another damn hall. A longer one to add to that. With a lot more doors.

Meanwhile, in a different part of the factory, Roy was acting really pyromaniacal. He sent flames everywhere.

"I'm guessing that he was the neighborhood kid that set the stray cats on fire." sighed Ed.

"Oh yeah. He did this when he was, like , 5. Then he moved on to people when he was about 7." replied Havoc. Roy pretty much K.O.-ed out every one of the bad guys on the first floor.

"Havoc! Breda! Edward! Search the area for any sign of Lt. Hawkeye! I'll go deeper into the building." ordered Roy. He was answered by three _yes sirs_.

Roy ran up a small flight of steel stairs. At the top of the stairs was a large empty room. About twice the size of school cafeteria. At the opposite end of the room was a metal balcony of sorts. Roy sighed.

"God. How the hell am I gonna find Riza? This place is so freakin big." grumbled Roy, as he put his arms out and sighed again. "It's not like she's gonna come falling from out of thin air." Suddenly, Riza fell into his arms. (Wedding style…)

"Uh…. Hello Lt." said Roy, with wide eyes. "Fancy meeting you here?"

"Heh. Yes sir." replied Riza. They both blushed.

"I'll just put you down now…"

"Oh, thank you sir." As Roy put her down, they blushed even more.

"So, uh. How did you get to this spot?"

"I jumped from the balcony up there." replied Riza, pointing up towards the balcony.

"Ah, I-I see. Well I guess it's very fortunate that I was here to uh, catch you. That was a very long fall. You could have severely injured yourself."

"Yes sir, I know."

"Well, I guess we should apprehend the convicts and get out of here."

"I agree fully sir."

So, the terrorists were captured and locked up. Again. Riza got a big band-aid for the cut on her head. Oh, and before Colt was captured, Ed got to beat him up!

The End!

Author's notes: Well, after a long time, this story is finally finished. From start till finish, it had been almost a years worth. Maybe eight or nine months. That's what procrastination is! About the story now! This was inspired by the 2nd FMA novel, The Abducted Alchemist. This is mainly just Roy x Riza stuff. I really was happy that I got to type the whole outta thin air part. That was some mild Royai right there. This is one of the first stories I ever started, so the writing may be a mix between stale and fresh, if you know what I mean… Sorry if there's any grammatical mistakes in here. Maybe Gavin messed with it. Hmmm… The whole RizaBarbie thing was inspired from listening to the Barbie song with FMA on Youtube too much and Riza's blond-ness. Disclaimers… All characters and FMA belong to Hiromu Arakawa. The Barbie song belongs to those foreign people that wrote and performed it. Sayonara!


End file.
